My Teacher And His Swag: 2013

Flies have over 4,000 lenses per eye (they only have 2 eyes) but can't see worth a darn! Their vision may be bad but they detect movement. If you want to swat one of them, you better start out slow. They're likely to ignore you if you're not fast. Because of this they are so hard to kill and the ruin every thing. When initiating their take off, flies jump up then backwards before moving forward. Jukes like Jagger you can never Hit them unless they get big and gross. Flies vomit on food before eating it. They can only consume liquids so their vomit is a tool to liquefy their food. Their saliva turns the rest into complete liquid before they swallow it. Now I'd really like to have that sandwich now! There for you cant eat your food because you know this. I used to think these things were not that bad. They don't hurt you with a sting or bite but they certainly carry plenty of diseases with them, vomit, lay eggs and poop on you and/or your food. I think I'll invest in a fly swatter! I don't have one. So my hands hurt so much.

Use Glase Jars to catch them.

So this last few days have been real nice, no homework, all we had to do was present some stuff that we have been working on, Because I have noting better to do i will upload my story.

Chapter 1

Around 1690 years ago a hero was born named Orion. This story is not about him, this is a story about a time where a rion born only 16 years ago was surrounded by cats, at a burning building, covered in blood and scratches, hungry, and with a strong sense of nirvana No hate, So let me tell how this all got started.

So this all got started when I was bored, bad things happen when I get bored. I was sick of playing Mass Effect 3 and watching twilight. I most certainly keep going on like this. So I came up with the amazing ided to make a bomb. Don't blame it was my second pot of coffee I was wired. Now I know how to make a bomb i'm not a idiot, Well i'm not under educated. And I have a computer. The question was with type of bomb, I could make a fire bomb or a explosive bomb. I went and checked my supplies. Two pipes 500 grams of gunpowder 50 grams of flash powder 100 grams of thermite. I looked at the supplies with a cryptic look. Trying to intimidate it into yielding and ideas. “what it going to be” took me a couple seconds to realize I said that outloud. “no idea”. I looked and was not surprised to see my next door gangster, Trick or Treat... get it, True gangster 5 feet and 50 cents in change or so low key till you get 40oz in her (angry drunk approach with caution - moto= gangster rap made me do it). “Hello Treat” said my mouth not my head. “what's the look for kid, I thought you would be happy to hear my advice” it took me a second to realize that I was still wearing my cryptic look. “to much coffee i’m wired” “ah, Thinking on what type of bomb to make” “yea fire or explosive” I stated. “what cha got” she said. with a drunk sulr. I gotta rap this up fast befor She get angry, correction before I make her angry. I told her what supplies I have. “hmmmmmmm I would mix the flash powder with the thermite nice fiery explosion.........Orrr maybe do you have some magnesium shavings” she said “nope, do you cause that could produce a muy bonita explosion” I said with grin. Its the coffee, trust me. She left my garage I guessed to get magnesium. As soon as she was out of sight I ran into the house, went to the back room and grabbed my sword ran back out and hid it in plain sight. Don't look at me like that it was the coffee and I was paranoid, making a bomb can do that to you. She came back and we made the bomb. Im not going to say how exactly because if you can’t found out how then you have no business with a bomb. After it was done she asked “wheres your parents” “in the house” I said back with the speed that gave it away as a lie. All i got in return was a sly smile and her back as she walked away and sail “keep working on you spanish”. Oh yea, she also my spanish teacher at the time. Then she poked her head back into the garage and said “I was never here got it.” I nodded, She smiled and left.

I was admired my, and her handy work. So I did not notice the car coming up the road. However i did notice the car pull into the driveway. It was my worse nightmare my parents. I had already stashed my supplies so I did not have to worry about that. However the bomb in my hand was a different story. I had to stash this weapon fast. because the door of the car opened quite clunk it was the gold van, the nissan did not have as deep of a noise when the door opened good it was most likely my mom. With was good because she was slow to get out of the car and she was more golabol. Then I saw my savior, My back pack. Perfect. I practically dove for it. Rip that thing, and put that bomb in there faster than tiger woods does with you girlfriend. Bad taste. I zipped that backpack up fast jump for my sword. The garage door was opening now, I yanked the scabbed of my sword and started practicing my form wearing my focused face, as I heard my mom footsteps. “hey son” she said “go away” I grumbled. “Michelangelo called” she said in a cheery voice ignoring my attitude. “he wants to know if you want to come over to hang out with him, I said you can” that got my attention, i had homework that had to be done. “as long as you do your homework at his house” she finished. Of course the catch, always the catch. “ok” I said happy she fail for my smoke screen. “ ok put that sword away grab your backpack, and hop in the car” she said. I had no problem getting my backpack out of the cross fire. However it pains me to bring bombs to michelangelo house. It had to be done. In the car the mixture of my music and lack of adrenaline forced me to sleep, and I was so ok with that.

Chapter 2

I awoke when the car stopped. I was at my friends small house 2 rooms 2 stories and a little barn like thing were they, they being him and his mom kept their goats and hens. Or maybe chickens, I don’t know they lay eggs, sooo I think hens but i'm not sure. I don’t do that hippy crap so don’t gape at me. “ugh” I said with unrivaled intelligence As I opened the door, super fly. I failed to get my feet out of the car befor I got my body out. Thats about as close as I come to an alarm clock. My mom just gazed with a look of unmasked disappointment in me. “not pathetic” I managed to grumble. Proving so I used my vast intellect of skills in acrobats. and rolled over onto my stomach, I could have gone over my head but that would have taken more time and I was not about to spend all that energy on a back roll when I did not have a real good reason because that would cost about 10% of my energy and it would take 12 seconds to get that energy back. Also i was already up and grabbing my backpack. “do you homework” my mom said with a firm voice that was supposed to scare me. It failed “Yes” I said in kind an walked to the house. Which was a very weird won. I said it was a two story house it was but the first story was a barn. Full of hay. They only had a front door. Which open directly onto a staircase, A step one that went up to there house like apartment thingy room barn cat farm thingy. There is two rooms and a bathroom that both room open up to. the first room that you walk into was a big one that has a glass door parallel to the front door opening that opens to a small porch good for a smoker to get there cure. contrary to that statement michelangelo mom did not smoke neither did he. the room that I am talking about was divided into two. Because it was the only way they could fit a kitchen in there which had a tile like floor. The line cut about 1 quarter for kitchen 3 for room. the room had 3 cats, carpet floor, a bunk bed, T.V. with game system. That room was for michelangelo. On the far side of the kitchen there was a door that led to the bathroom. The bathroom was well just a bathroom nothing special except I had two door. The second door was on the right adjacent side of the room. That door opened to michelangelo moms room (Cindy). I never went in. “hey, Whats up” michelangelo said in greeting. “ah nothing much” I said and then in a undertone added “I have a bomb in my backpack” He looked at me with a hard looked and then sighed and said “ you have a funny way of doing homework” as Cindy walked in and said “Hi Orion you hungry” I managed to stop myself from assaulting the the grilled cheese sandwich she pulled out of her toaster oven, and with self control said “yes” and walked over there to eat it. However it was not meant to be she decided it would be best to torture me by cutting it in half first and warming it up. I almost murdered some poor cat that walk bye for that, almost. I don’t like cats much. I like dogs, see they will come up to you and tell you how much they love you, even if there grose about it. However cats won’t they just do there own thing hell I don't even think cats love their owners my personal opinion is that cat only love catnip, food, and chasing/playing with thing, such as human hearts. I will not be just a tool in the shed, for cats. However since I knew who owns the house i thought it would be nice to pay homage to the cat. Cheeto. It hissed and bounded of. I chalked it up to the fact that it was upset that I was not enhanced by its spell. Sucker. The other cat Meowth look at with with it blue eyes. With what I could only explain as a sage expression. The Tom cats, there was 3 of them Cheeto which was the youngest a 100% fire orange cat no strips of white like all those others he had yellow eye that wear very much alive. If he was a human I beat he would be a 16 year old yoked out red head with hazel eyes, very red and hazle. However not pretty or attractive maybe even a facial scar, and arrogant. Meowth, was a friendly gray cat, always pictured as a 50 year old with a body that has been wiped in shape via hard work and a lot of time in the gym. With gray head of hair that comes from a life time of making tough decisions. Then there was Brooke. A black and brown cat with black eyes, always pictured as a 20 year old lean brunette, who was the type of person I would never get along with. She would be the person who never understood you sarcasm and never appreciated your jokes. I was thinking about these cats as I finished my meal, It bothered me for some reason which bothered me more And that put me in a bad mode. Cindy must have sensed it because she did not ask me questions like how was your day. I don’t think anyone of us were too disappointed about that. Michelangelo and I digressed to the video games, forgetting about home work and the bomb in my backpack waiting for some fool to use and Cindy left for work forgetting about the fools who were going to use it.

Chapter 3

1:00 am me and mick went to bed. Not because we were tired but because his mom showed up. However to contradict what I just said we slept like a rock. And i fell like a rock off the top of the bunk bed after 12 minutes. More than ever I wanted to punch someone instead I got stepped on by Michelangelo with his foot in my stomach almost shouting “what the hell is going on!” “blaeeg” Thats all I could get out, lucky Michelangelo noticed and move. I rolled over onto my side and would have vomited except that i had not eaten in a long time, my stomach tried to however. My eyes landed on my backpack and my personality started taking my minds clothes of and making evile baye. “blow something up” I mumbled. “what was that” whispered Michelangelo. Right in my goddamn ear! “really!!” I growled as I was scrambling away. “oh sorry” Michelangelo said in a loud whisper. I sighed and said “lets go blow something up, like right now.” “but i’m wearing pajamas, we can't blow anything up in pajamas” pointed out Michelangelo. I would have sighed except I was doing to much of that already so I just said “than go change” He did and more. You see Michelangelo and I love medieval stuff, he came back out in black sweat pants and carrying two broadswords. They were standard swords that his grandmother gave him. He tossed me one and I strapped it on my back. I grabbed my bomb with for the sake of a better name is name Andy, and we bounced. We walked methodical south west, almost as if we were being summoned or as if something was reaching out to us and pulling us in, and I knew not suspected but knew we were being followed. My instincts were screaming at me. To confirm i was not going insane I glanced at Michelangelo, and in that moment I was sure. however that did not bother as much as the people. Everybody went out of there way to swear passed us in the simplest form. They all were hoods or a big at or something, and the moon light could not illuminate their faces. I was sure they were just trying to avoid us because we had swords on our backs, so as a girl was passing past me i held my hand out in front of her face and said “hey”. Nothing, all i got was her head swerving out of the way of my hand with speed that meant she practiced some sort of fighting style or she was precognitive. That should of stopped me in my tracks but it did not, im just so ignorant. We took a trip through a alie and felt 100% lost. Whatever was directing us had left us to fined for ourselves. We soud there for all of 10 seconds until the breeze blew on our face and a smell hit me. Dead bodys.

Chapter 4

shhhhiiiiiittttt” explained Michelangelo. “lets go check it out” I said full of excitement. “nooooooooooo” whispered Michelangelo. Apparently free will was a gimmick because we were roped in. A nude girl ran down the alley, she looked about 66, ick. However I knew she was about 20, she was a prostitute and she was not willing. She was covered in train tracks and bruises. Blond and bad at it with this nasty red highlights that looked like they came from the dollar store, However very tall about 6’8” damn. A man rounded the corner. That made her look like a barbie doll. he looked about 7 feet plus and 350 plus. He came bulldozing down the hall and almost overtook the girl. Almost. My leg stuck out and he, Fido for lack of a better name took a lesson in eating dirt. I took a big step back and waited for him to get up Michelangelo grabbed the girl. Fido got up and gazed at me. He was bad at it. I heard a dumpster lid close and realized that Michelangelo had stashed the girl... Barbie in a dumpster... for safe keeping, he locked it. She screamed we winced but not Fido. I looked at Fido and said “how the dirt taste” he was going to say something like get the hell out of my way, but I kept talking “I normally try to keep my face out of the dirt because it is sensible and conformist, but i do love a rebel”. “kid you looking for some bruises” he said in a raspy think drunk deep voice. “there just so fashionable” that pissed him off, maybe it was business related. He charge me Michelangelo step in with a twisting round house. good move but a stiff wind could knock Michelangelo over and it looked like it would take a earthquake to knock fido over. He just kept bulldozing through Michelangelo kick which only landed on his chest. Thankful for the demonstration, when fido got up to me I just crouch and then jumped to the side, leaving my leg behind in the place where my body was. So people just never learn, Fido fell again. but this time he recovered faster instead of eating dirt he rolled with the fall, and then was returned to a standing position. I was ready, as he turned around I planted my foot in his stomach. Eat your heart out Michelangelo. He responded to that kick with anger, lot of anger. He charged me, and befor I could move he grabbed me and pushed down the alley. Into a wall which hurt, then he punch me which hurt more. Then he grab me by the shoulders and slammed me against that crappy bar wall. Thank you god I went thru it and out of his grasp. Nice the hole was to small for Fido, I was safe for a time------ :< Never mind. Michelangelo came up from behind and gave him a front kick worthy of wonder woman. Fido came flying towards me. I rolled out of the way. He failed to roll. So i delivered a axe kick that was meant for his face but landed on his neck. He rolled via his side away from my second. The bar we were in was the type that the police were always trying to shut down because there drug trafficking and extortion women. The electrical piping was visible, and Fido knew that he jump at one of the far walls, which was fine with me and grabbed a steel pipe of the freaking wall. Dammn i try not to draw a sword unless I plan to examine it or kill/spar with it. However I could not fight him with that steel pipe and me only having. He came at Michelangelo and I with a overhead swing and to connter we crossed are swords and stopped it cold. And then we symotansly front kicked him. Just then before he attacked again 3 cats jumped in the hole. In was Michelangelo cats, Behind them where two dogs. Doberman, sigh. The three cats charged Fido With a dark twinkle in there eyes and jumped for him. As for the dog Michelangelo and I got 1 each. The dog leaped me and I rolled out of the way the second attack was a jump two, I took it left front paw off. It manage to grab my leg my the caff, Instincts took over and i tryed to jump away just to land on my stomach. The dog spent a good time clawing at it before Michelangelo saved me with a scream of pain and despair. My mind leap for control of my lambs and I swung my sword and ended that pathetic excuse for a wolf. I got up and saw Michelangelo had killed the dog to, however it hamstring him. The cats were smart enough to back off when they saw that they could not do much to Fido. Ok help Michelangelo latter kill fido now. I moved fast as lightning with my sword, with a cut meant to take of his head. He stopped it. We went back and forth between attacks but we were dead locked. Then I Michelangelo threw his sword at Fido. It did nothing but cost my friend his life. It upset Fido so much that his next blow disarmed me. Then his fist off balanced me. He saw that he had won and stalked over to Michelangelo who was leaning on a wall. He looked at me and mouthed the word “go”. I groped for my bomb and then realize I had no way of lighting it. Its times like these I wish i was a stoner. Pain shot up from my caff and I looked down and saw that the fiery cat. Cheeto, was trying to get my attention. I leaned down to listen to what it had to say before I realized how stupid that was. However the cat was hot. Like 160 degrees hot. What the hell. The cat started to glow. Oh what the hell. I put the fuse to the cats fur and as I did the cats fur turned to fire and it bound to Michelangelo and as the two made contact Michelangelo glew and disappeared. Fido looked confused, so I felt bad braining him with the pipe bomb from long range. I was throw the whole faster than you could say poop de poop de pants. And i was thankful for that because Andy packed a punch. The building was done for Fido was dead and I was almost. I passed out then.

Chapter 5

I came around on concrete. I was in the alley which I then realized that it was a very big one. I was on my back, With fire light and heat covering me. It was nice. There was a war pull of heat around me and I was capable of looking around. I saw that i was in a pentagram Full of my blood. On each point of the star the was a cat. Two i did not know. The other two where Brooke, Meowth, and a very big Cheeto. Cheeto was the only one with a twinkle in his eye. I sighed “of course” I was at a impasse I was not tired or restless enough to sleep but To sleepy to move. And my mind bluescreen years ago. So a laid there as nirvana slept my body and mind and I let it, For what felt like hours. The cats left and about 30 seconds later a police car showed up. A sower looking women got out and looked at me for a long time. She then said “do I want to know”. I gave her a innocent smile as a held out my wrist. She shook her head as she cuffed me and said with a sigh “homeless people”. And at that moment I was happy.

Notes

The price of happiness is high, so be sure you willing to pay it before you ride.